So, I made it through both Halloween and, the kick off of the Holiday Season, Thanksgiving. I made it through without compromising on my goals, I made it without feeling like I was missing out on something because I didn’t want the things I am not eating. I made it through and continued to not only watch what I eat and continuing to exercise daily but I have continued to lose weight. Since September 3rd I have lost just over 25 pounds, which is a wonderful feeling, not just because of the weight loss, but because of the victory of the will to succeed. In the past I would have sabotaged myself, I would have slipped up, I would have found a reason to give up or cheat myself, but this time I don’t want to sabotage myself, I don’t want the things that would make me slip up, I don’t want to cheat myself, this time I have left those things behind. This time it is my mind and body working together, I don’t want the things I gave up, I am not tempted. I am not fighting an urge, there is no urge, except the urge to eat healthy, to workout, to keep going. I am free, and I can feel it in every bit of my life. It is funny, because until I freed myself I didn’t even realize I was chained to my old ways, I didn’t recognize the trap I had walked into. Food had lost all meaning, food isn’t supposed to be our friend, we can enjoy good food, and enjoy it with the people whose company we also enjoy, but the food, it isn’t supposed to be my companion.
I have discovered things about myself, about my world, I have discovered things about food. Some things I learn are just interesting, a moment of understanding, but there are times, when I am reading about what the food industry does to entice consumers, to make money, to indeed at times lay a trap for us, it is appalling, it is frustrating, it is eye opening. I can’t blame the industry though, their job is indeed to make money, I do wonder about our regulations though, how some countries, countries we identify with, like England, Canada and Australia, to name a few can ban certain things because they know they are not good and yet we freely consume them. I can wonder about how people can say they are concerned about the rise of obesity and yet continue to lay before us a plethora of foods that are labeled “healthy” that no one who has done any scientific research can even laughingly call healthy. I am not blaming the food industry for my obesity, I knowingly ate the wrong things, I knowingly didn’t exercise, I knowingly made choices that were bad for me, but I was aided by a system that wanted me to make those choices. The diet industry isn’t much better, there are so many different diet plans out there that feed us the line that in 2 weeks we will see a marked improvement, or be so much healthier, but what about the next week? What about the next year, or the rest of our lives? Sure, if I follow the pattern, I will initially lose weight, and feel better, but then I am left with no actual knowledge of how to continue, I can’t possibly believe that I can just reintroduce all those things I cut out, back into my diet in slow steady increments and keep the weight off. As a matter of fact, science indicates that I will not only gain back what I lost, but gain back more, and so I will once again turn to the latest diet plan and put my money into a system that is designed for short term success. This is why I am not following a diet plan, this is why I decided to take control of my eating and exercise, this is why this is a life long change and commitment, because I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to be a statistic.
So, I made it through the first 2 overeating holidays, and I am looking forward to Christmas, not because I will overeat, or eat all the wrong things, but because I am so happy that this year I am respecting myself, and I am more focused on my faith than ever before. I am clearer, than I have been in years and I am looking forward to the coming year, the first year in a long time where I will not be obese, a slave to my bad food habits or addictions. Yes, I did say addictions, and I have recognized them and put names to them and pushed them out of my life, I have made the commitment to wake up every day and not behave the way I did before this process started. I believe that everyone should make up their own minds, I will not lecture you, or point out what you are doing wrong, I will not try to deprive you or change you, that is why I don’t share many specifics about what I have learned, because I don’t want to call anyone out on their decisions. My problems with diet and exercise were mine, and I own them, acknowledge them and am dealing with them, it was about my weakness, not anyone else.
What I do know, at this point and going forward, is that no two people are alike, we all come from a different place and we are all going to a different place, as it relates to food, exercise and fitness. If you are looking for guidance, mine is limited by my own experiences, what I am doing anyone could do, just decide to, and then read, and read more, keep track of things if that works for you, find someone to join you if that works for you, or don’t do either if you don’t need to. Don’t do it my way, do it your way, whether your way looks a lot like my way or completely different. For years I talked about when I lost weight, how life would be different, but all that talk never had the effect I wanted, as a matter of fact I steadily gained weight, all while talking about losing weight. I had to actually commit to doing something, and so that is where I am today, down 82 pounds and committed to a new life.